M - Make your priority 'to take action'
O - Observe what is happening around you
T - Toss aside toxic people in your life
I - Indulge in your own ideas
V - Vote for yourself, learn to love yourself and be happy
A - Amaze yourself, develop your talents
T - Trust in your own ideas, be in charge
I - Independance means business on your terms
O - Only you can Make It Happen
N - Never give up!
Monday, 5 July 2010
Thursday, 1 July 2010
The 1st Hampshire Winning Women Business Awards
Thursday 24th June 2010 saw the first Hampshire Winning Women Business Awards unfold.
The Awards brought together women behind Hampshire’s most innovative businesses to celebrate their achievements.
See how one woman is already leveraging her win here
The Awards brought together women behind Hampshire’s most innovative businesses to celebrate their achievements.
See how one woman is already leveraging her win here
Tuesday, 15 June 2010
Bouncing Back
Its day Day 29 of ‘I’m not taking NO for an answer’ challenge and I’m bouncing back, (slowly) just as my 30 day challenge draws to a close. I’m not a quiter and like to see things through to the end, so today I want to share with you my top 3 ways for creating resilience, the ability to bounce back with ease.
1. Be your own best friend – you wouldn’t push your best friend so don’t be so hard on yourself. Be proud of who you are and learn to accept your weaknesses as well as your strengths. Spend some time doing things you enjoy, like listening to your favourite music, reading a book or magazine and take good care of yourself, eat well and rest.
2. Be Realistic – anyone who has ever set themselves a goal will be familiar with the acronym SMART and how it relates to goal setting. Learn from your current situation or mistakes and pay attention to your thoughts and feelings, maintain a positive frame of mind and do what seems right for you.
3. Have gratitude - years ago I would have called it ‘writing a diary’ but these days I place my focus on being thankful for my life, I now call it journaling, jotting down a few lines on who and what I am truly grateful for, the people I meet, the events and experiences I encounter, the caring and supportive relationships I have, my friends, family, pets, the weather, the sheets on my bed in fact anything that springs to mind as I make an entry. Giving thanks for those little things is a great way to remind yourself that there is good in just about everything. All things work for the greater good no matter how seemingly difficult things may appear at the time.
Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got ~ Janis Joplin
1. Be your own best friend – you wouldn’t push your best friend so don’t be so hard on yourself. Be proud of who you are and learn to accept your weaknesses as well as your strengths. Spend some time doing things you enjoy, like listening to your favourite music, reading a book or magazine and take good care of yourself, eat well and rest.
2. Be Realistic – anyone who has ever set themselves a goal will be familiar with the acronym SMART and how it relates to goal setting. Learn from your current situation or mistakes and pay attention to your thoughts and feelings, maintain a positive frame of mind and do what seems right for you.
3. Have gratitude - years ago I would have called it ‘writing a diary’ but these days I place my focus on being thankful for my life, I now call it journaling, jotting down a few lines on who and what I am truly grateful for, the people I meet, the events and experiences I encounter, the caring and supportive relationships I have, my friends, family, pets, the weather, the sheets on my bed in fact anything that springs to mind as I make an entry. Giving thanks for those little things is a great way to remind yourself that there is good in just about everything. All things work for the greater good no matter how seemingly difficult things may appear at the time.
Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got ~ Janis Joplin
Sunday, 6 June 2010
Being Your Best Self Not A Perfect Self
Day 21
Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Saturday, 5 June 2010
How Frequently Do You Stop And Smell The Roses
I didn’t manage to post last evening. I arrived home tired but happy after a fun filled day at Epsom Ladies Day with members of my ‘Winning Women’ networking group.
My perception wasn’t of ‘falling off the 30 day challenge wagon’ as my fellow challenger described, to me it was about knowing my limits, my priorities and when it is time to ‘stop and smell the roses’.
I wanted to spend some precious time with my girls before they went off to bed and hear about the adventures of their day, number one priority. Number two was to complete some last minute preparation for my VIP clients day that took place today.
When I was thinking about this I remembered the story below which illustrates the point perfectly.
“A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.
Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.
A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.
A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.
The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.
In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.
Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theatre in Boston and the seats average $100.00 each.
This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?
One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?”
My perception wasn’t of ‘falling off the 30 day challenge wagon’ as my fellow challenger described, to me it was about knowing my limits, my priorities and when it is time to ‘stop and smell the roses’.
I wanted to spend some precious time with my girls before they went off to bed and hear about the adventures of their day, number one priority. Number two was to complete some last minute preparation for my VIP clients day that took place today.
When I was thinking about this I remembered the story below which illustrates the point perfectly.
“A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.
Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.
A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.
A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.
The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.
In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.
Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theatre in Boston and the seats average $100.00 each.
This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?
One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?”
Thursday, 3 June 2010
Do You See What I See?
We all have blind spots. As my coach says, sometimes we can’t see our own face.
I’m often surprised how I react to others perception of me. Today 3 different people in three different situations told me I was inspirational. I was taken aback.
Three years ago as preparation for a workshop I was attending we were asked to contact a minimum of 10 friends, colleagues or members of our family and ask them to list what they saw as our unique abilities. An exercise that I believe originated from Dan Sullivan.
Dan believes we spend our time moving from one to another of these four areas.
Incompetent
Competent
Excellence
Unique Ability
At the time of the exercise I was surprised by the results, see below. Dan Sullivan says your own unique ability is effortless, It just happens naturally because it’s what you love to do. My biggest learning from the exercise was that I was spending too much time focusing on my weaknesses. If these are my strengths then I need to nurture them. And nurture them I now do, only sometimes more easily than others!
Supportive of others ,Honest , Listens, Calm, Energy/ get up and go /Get on and do/ Go the extra mile ,Hardworking / give 100% ,Empathises with others concerns issues problems , Approachable, family orientated, Passion for business is inspiring, Reliable, Focussed, Determined ,Sincere, Welcoming, Genuine, Courageous , Loving ,Dependable, Good fun , Kind, Consistent/ constant Interested , Valuing others , Let people be themselves/ people relax in my company/ non judgemental Passionate, Trustworthy, Warm, Attention to detail, creatively minded, Super organised, Anticipate what might happen in a situation, Look after self, Sensitive to other peoples personalities, Help people talk through and resolve complex stuff, Active, Involved, Quick to see patterns, Hands on, Pushes self out of comfort zone, Encouraging, Friendly, Sincere, Spiritual, Caring, Helpful, Loyal, Easy to talk to, Guidance, Sees the positive, Helps others identify their strengths, Mentor, Confident,Good sense of humour, Excellent communication, reflective, Professional, Neat, Intelligent, Cheerful, Safe, Curious, Calculated risk taker, Responsible, Efficient, Motivating, Giving, Generous with time, connecter, Challenges others
I’m often surprised how I react to others perception of me. Today 3 different people in three different situations told me I was inspirational. I was taken aback.
Three years ago as preparation for a workshop I was attending we were asked to contact a minimum of 10 friends, colleagues or members of our family and ask them to list what they saw as our unique abilities. An exercise that I believe originated from Dan Sullivan.
Dan believes we spend our time moving from one to another of these four areas.
Incompetent
Competent
Excellence
Unique Ability
At the time of the exercise I was surprised by the results, see below. Dan Sullivan says your own unique ability is effortless, It just happens naturally because it’s what you love to do. My biggest learning from the exercise was that I was spending too much time focusing on my weaknesses. If these are my strengths then I need to nurture them. And nurture them I now do, only sometimes more easily than others!
Supportive of others ,Honest , Listens, Calm, Energy/ get up and go /Get on and do/ Go the extra mile ,Hardworking / give 100% ,Empathises with others concerns issues problems , Approachable, family orientated, Passion for business is inspiring, Reliable, Focussed, Determined ,Sincere, Welcoming, Genuine, Courageous , Loving ,Dependable, Good fun , Kind, Consistent/ constant Interested , Valuing others , Let people be themselves/ people relax in my company/ non judgemental Passionate, Trustworthy, Warm, Attention to detail, creatively minded, Super organised, Anticipate what might happen in a situation, Look after self, Sensitive to other peoples personalities, Help people talk through and resolve complex stuff, Active, Involved, Quick to see patterns, Hands on, Pushes self out of comfort zone, Encouraging, Friendly, Sincere, Spiritual, Caring, Helpful, Loyal, Easy to talk to, Guidance, Sees the positive, Helps others identify their strengths, Mentor, Confident,Good sense of humour, Excellent communication, reflective, Professional, Neat, Intelligent, Cheerful, Safe, Curious, Calculated risk taker, Responsible, Efficient, Motivating, Giving, Generous with time, connecter, Challenges others
Wednesday, 2 June 2010
It's Your Choice
Day 17
“Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.” Said Charles R Swindoll
There is no getting away from it, we all face setbacks, mishaps, challenges and obstacles strategically placed along the road of life. How you deal with them ultimately determines the quality of your life.
This morning I had an appointment for a blood test at my local doctor’s surgery. A place, thankfully I rarely frequent. I was unsure of the procedure, was a few minutes late for my appointment and was spoken to in a very rude manner by the phlebotomist. So much so I was on the verge of tears.
Driving home I was processing the situation and came to the conclusion that it wasn't so much the sarcastic way I was spoken to - but my reaction to what she had said. I had a choice, to feel hurt and angry and let it eat me up all day or I could simply let it go.
How you react to situations is a choice that you make every single day. Next time something similar happens to you, remember you choose, you can have a more positive or a more negative reaction.
I know which I choose every time. When it comes to other people
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Roosevelt
“Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.” Said Charles R Swindoll
There is no getting away from it, we all face setbacks, mishaps, challenges and obstacles strategically placed along the road of life. How you deal with them ultimately determines the quality of your life.
This morning I had an appointment for a blood test at my local doctor’s surgery. A place, thankfully I rarely frequent. I was unsure of the procedure, was a few minutes late for my appointment and was spoken to in a very rude manner by the phlebotomist. So much so I was on the verge of tears.
Driving home I was processing the situation and came to the conclusion that it wasn't so much the sarcastic way I was spoken to - but my reaction to what she had said. I had a choice, to feel hurt and angry and let it eat me up all day or I could simply let it go.
How you react to situations is a choice that you make every single day. Next time something similar happens to you, remember you choose, you can have a more positive or a more negative reaction.
I know which I choose every time. When it comes to other people
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Roosevelt
Tuesday, 1 June 2010
Is Your Door Of Opportunity Open?
Day 16 I'm Not Taking NO For A Answer
This morning my two youngest daughters aged 6 and 8 started a 3 day tennis course. I dropped them off at 9 am at the local tennis club, full of excitement and I guess some anticipation as neither daughter has played tennis before.
One hour later they came home beaming, great big smiles spreading across their little faces, ‘We love tennis, we love tennis’ they shouted in unison. What really astonished me was their openness and willingness to grasp an opportunity full on without knowing the outcome and ‘going for it’ with such gusto.
Mark Twain said “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.”
I believe opportunities are waiting around every corner. You never quite know when that door of opportunity is going to open wide. I'm also a great believer in the Law of Attraction, one of the fundamental laws of the universe, which states, we bring into our lives a reflection of what we are attracting, be it negative or positive.
My girls on average have 630,000 hours ahead of them to do with what they will, sleeping, working, playing, living, being, doing and having.
I've learned so much from observing my children. How about you will you be ready to reach out and grab opportunty when it next knocks, to throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harboor, Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover?
This morning my two youngest daughters aged 6 and 8 started a 3 day tennis course. I dropped them off at 9 am at the local tennis club, full of excitement and I guess some anticipation as neither daughter has played tennis before.
One hour later they came home beaming, great big smiles spreading across their little faces, ‘We love tennis, we love tennis’ they shouted in unison. What really astonished me was their openness and willingness to grasp an opportunity full on without knowing the outcome and ‘going for it’ with such gusto.
Mark Twain said “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.”
I believe opportunities are waiting around every corner. You never quite know when that door of opportunity is going to open wide. I'm also a great believer in the Law of Attraction, one of the fundamental laws of the universe, which states, we bring into our lives a reflection of what we are attracting, be it negative or positive.
My girls on average have 630,000 hours ahead of them to do with what they will, sleeping, working, playing, living, being, doing and having.
I've learned so much from observing my children. How about you will you be ready to reach out and grab opportunty when it next knocks, to throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harboor, Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover?
Monday, 31 May 2010
Turn Up Your Confidence Control
Day 15
Generally I’m quite meagre when it comes to spending money on clothes for myself, especially when I also have three growing daughters to buy for. Today though I did something quite out of character and splashed the cash on not one designer dress but three. Yes three!
One of the reasons I rarely splash out, is simply because I rarely find good fitting clothes that I feel good wearing. According to my colour and shape analysis I am a slight, slim pear. For everyday wear I get by but when buying an outfit for a special occasion that’s when I tend to become unstuck.
There have been numerous shopping trips in the past where after a few hours traipsing the shops I have just given up and gone home disheartened – it's not so easy to admit defeat when you are reinforcing the matter of not taking NO for an answer. I persevered and started browse through the costlier ranges, not that I hadn’t looked at these previously. The difference before was not feeling I deserved to spend that money on myself.
So I have been extravagant and I know that when the opportunity arises to wear these gorgeous dresses I will feel fabulous both inside and out – a little tip I often share for turning up the confidence control.
Just hope my colour and shape advisor approves!
Generally I’m quite meagre when it comes to spending money on clothes for myself, especially when I also have three growing daughters to buy for. Today though I did something quite out of character and splashed the cash on not one designer dress but three. Yes three!
One of the reasons I rarely splash out, is simply because I rarely find good fitting clothes that I feel good wearing. According to my colour and shape analysis I am a slight, slim pear. For everyday wear I get by but when buying an outfit for a special occasion that’s when I tend to become unstuck.
There have been numerous shopping trips in the past where after a few hours traipsing the shops I have just given up and gone home disheartened – it's not so easy to admit defeat when you are reinforcing the matter of not taking NO for an answer. I persevered and started browse through the costlier ranges, not that I hadn’t looked at these previously. The difference before was not feeling I deserved to spend that money on myself.
So I have been extravagant and I know that when the opportunity arises to wear these gorgeous dresses I will feel fabulous both inside and out – a little tip I often share for turning up the confidence control.
Just hope my colour and shape advisor approves!
Sunday, 30 May 2010
The Right Way, Wrong Way And Your Way
Day 13 and 14
‘Fell off the 30 day challenge Wagon yesterday so hope to catch up’ wrote one of my fellow 30 day challengers.
I understand exactly what was being implied but why do we have to be so hard on ourselves sometimes?
My first reaction to reading this was ‘How can you fall off the wagon when you set your own rules?’ Who set the criteria? Who said you had to blog every day?
I guess what was happening here was that like all situations we encounter our minds search for a point of reference. Some familiar link, but if it’s a new situation, a new pattern which isn’t yet habitual then your mind will try hard to link past experiences to the new experience. The result typically is old thoughts, beliefs and patterns of behaviour continue to show up. In this instance I would hazard a guess that ‘shoulds’, ‘musts’ and ‘oughts’ were showing up.
If we want to grow and develop though the words of Albert Einstein are worth remembering, "We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them."
By staying true to yourself and listening to your intuition you are far less likely to sabotage yourself.
You, and only you, can determine what works best for you, as Michael Neill so eloquently put it, 'There’s a right way a wrong way and YOUR way'.
‘Fell off the 30 day challenge Wagon yesterday so hope to catch up’ wrote one of my fellow 30 day challengers.
I understand exactly what was being implied but why do we have to be so hard on ourselves sometimes?
My first reaction to reading this was ‘How can you fall off the wagon when you set your own rules?’ Who set the criteria? Who said you had to blog every day?
I guess what was happening here was that like all situations we encounter our minds search for a point of reference. Some familiar link, but if it’s a new situation, a new pattern which isn’t yet habitual then your mind will try hard to link past experiences to the new experience. The result typically is old thoughts, beliefs and patterns of behaviour continue to show up. In this instance I would hazard a guess that ‘shoulds’, ‘musts’ and ‘oughts’ were showing up.
If we want to grow and develop though the words of Albert Einstein are worth remembering, "We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them."
By staying true to yourself and listening to your intuition you are far less likely to sabotage yourself.
You, and only you, can determine what works best for you, as Michael Neill so eloquently put it, 'There’s a right way a wrong way and YOUR way'.
Friday, 28 May 2010
What’s Your Why?
Day 12
Driving to the hairdressers this morning I caught myself thinking negatively about a task I need to complete in the next few days. If I didn’t have my current level of focus (thanks to this challenge) then I could very easily have started to slide off track, procrastinated and used every excuse under the sun as to why I should avoid carrying out the task.
Luckily, I know where I am heading and this task is just one of the steps that make up my journey to attain one of my current goals.
It’s only natural when we first set goals to feel excited and motivated, that feeling can carry us along for several days, or even weeks. But then, what happens? That little internal voice in your head starts harping on about the past, trying in vain to persuade you to keep those limiting beliefs and that’s one of the challenges people face when they set goals. They cannot stay focused on attaining the goal consistently and momentum dwindles.
Probably the most important approach to maintaining focus is to know your ‘why’ - the reasoning behind the goal. When the reason is strong or convincing enough, motivation to act will follow naturally.
It’s to be expected that those nagging doubts will creep in, I think that’s the universes way of ‘testing’ us. Testing us to see how much we truly want something and to see if we are prepared to do whatever it takes to achieve it.
Driving to the hairdressers this morning I caught myself thinking negatively about a task I need to complete in the next few days. If I didn’t have my current level of focus (thanks to this challenge) then I could very easily have started to slide off track, procrastinated and used every excuse under the sun as to why I should avoid carrying out the task.
Luckily, I know where I am heading and this task is just one of the steps that make up my journey to attain one of my current goals.
It’s only natural when we first set goals to feel excited and motivated, that feeling can carry us along for several days, or even weeks. But then, what happens? That little internal voice in your head starts harping on about the past, trying in vain to persuade you to keep those limiting beliefs and that’s one of the challenges people face when they set goals. They cannot stay focused on attaining the goal consistently and momentum dwindles.
Probably the most important approach to maintaining focus is to know your ‘why’ - the reasoning behind the goal. When the reason is strong or convincing enough, motivation to act will follow naturally.
It’s to be expected that those nagging doubts will creep in, I think that’s the universes way of ‘testing’ us. Testing us to see how much we truly want something and to see if we are prepared to do whatever it takes to achieve it.
Thursday, 27 May 2010
One Small Consistent Action = Big Results
Day 11
Over one third of the way through this 30 day challenge and I must say I have really enjoyed putting my thoughts out there, it’s a great way to become super focused and spend some time totally focused on me! Any other mum’s out there will know exactly what I mean and any of you who have ever worked with me will know often I stress the importance of taking time out foryourself. Be nice to ‘me ‘ days.
Now I’ve reached this milestone I thought I’d reflect on my journey so far. As I already said there has been much learning along the way, beliefs to eradicate, fears to face etc but one thing I wrote about on day 2, Are you an amateur or a professional, sent my mind into a whizz and got me thinking once again about taking consistent action. Constantly taking a step in the right direction.
We don’t always need to take great big leaps, sometimes we need to remember the importance of all the baby steps that help us consistently move us towards our end goal. I ‘m a great believer in breaking things down into small manageable steps. That means by the end of this challenge I will be 30% better than I was when I started.
Imagine where you could be in one year if you took just one small step forward each day. 365% better than you are today! Now that’s something to aim for.
Over one third of the way through this 30 day challenge and I must say I have really enjoyed putting my thoughts out there, it’s a great way to become super focused and spend some time totally focused on me! Any other mum’s out there will know exactly what I mean and any of you who have ever worked with me will know often I stress the importance of taking time out foryourself. Be nice to ‘me ‘ days.
Now I’ve reached this milestone I thought I’d reflect on my journey so far. As I already said there has been much learning along the way, beliefs to eradicate, fears to face etc but one thing I wrote about on day 2, Are you an amateur or a professional, sent my mind into a whizz and got me thinking once again about taking consistent action. Constantly taking a step in the right direction.
We don’t always need to take great big leaps, sometimes we need to remember the importance of all the baby steps that help us consistently move us towards our end goal. I ‘m a great believer in breaking things down into small manageable steps. That means by the end of this challenge I will be 30% better than I was when I started.
Imagine where you could be in one year if you took just one small step forward each day. 365% better than you are today! Now that’s something to aim for.
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
Are You Feeling Overwhelmed?
Day 10
They say that when you are a coach your clients often bring you your own issues. Funny that, for the last two days I have worked with my VIP clients and there was definite common thread running through the sessions.
That thread being a feeling of overwhelm. A topic which I wrote about on day 5 of this challenge. I’d even go as far to say it is one of the biggest challenges women in business face.
The trouble is the more overwhelmed we feel the less responsive we become to finding solutions. Overwhelm also shows up in many ways, too much to do, indecisiveness, lack of prioritisation, fear, stress, focusing on the negatives and so on.
Let us not forget though that we all have choices, we choose our response to any given situation.
This poem is a great reminder that we are in control of our lives rather than our lives controlling us.
Overcoming Overwhelm
Too much to do, so little time.
When will it all end, beyond my prime?
It’s hard to believe, we have the power,
To shift our thoughts, and soon encounter,
A different outcome to our repetitive day,
A different feeling, a different way.
It takes some rigor, and consistent action,
To see the change and get some traction.
When you imagine and believe it is true,
Then the possibilities are endless for you!
They say that when you are a coach your clients often bring you your own issues. Funny that, for the last two days I have worked with my VIP clients and there was definite common thread running through the sessions.
That thread being a feeling of overwhelm. A topic which I wrote about on day 5 of this challenge. I’d even go as far to say it is one of the biggest challenges women in business face.
The trouble is the more overwhelmed we feel the less responsive we become to finding solutions. Overwhelm also shows up in many ways, too much to do, indecisiveness, lack of prioritisation, fear, stress, focusing on the negatives and so on.
Let us not forget though that we all have choices, we choose our response to any given situation.
This poem is a great reminder that we are in control of our lives rather than our lives controlling us.
Overcoming Overwhelm
Too much to do, so little time.
When will it all end, beyond my prime?
It’s hard to believe, we have the power,
To shift our thoughts, and soon encounter,
A different outcome to our repetitive day,
A different feeling, a different way.
It takes some rigor, and consistent action,
To see the change and get some traction.
When you imagine and believe it is true,
Then the possibilities are endless for you!
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
Are You Hiding From Yourself?
Day 9 and today is the first day of my 30 day challenge where no obvious topic staring me in the face that I could write about. But me being me, my persistence paid off when I asked myself the simple question, ‘What will you not take NO for answer for today’? Admittedly I had to ask the question a few times before anything significant surfaced but when it did it hit me hard.
The point is we need to be brutally honest with ourselves, take stock and a look at where you‘re at.
After family, honesty and integrity sit high on my list of values. My realisation today has been that I am not always honest with myself. Along with that insincerity comes a diminished self worth. Confidence on the other hand comes with knowing who you are and accepting your imperfections.
Physically I could be taking more care of my body. Why I have chosen at some level to repress or deny issues regarding my health before now I’m not yet sure. Maybe because I believe that you get what you focus on and therefore avoid the issue.
I remember reading an article where a young girl became pregnant at just 13 and literally ignored the pregnancy until she could not hide it anymore. I recall feeling sad that she didn’t feel able to confide in anyone else but also I understood her fear.
So back to my health – perhaps I have been foolish to take it for granted up until now. Being healthy, feeling healthy is important to me – time to reprioritise my values maybe!
The point is we need to be brutally honest with ourselves, take stock and a look at where you‘re at.
After family, honesty and integrity sit high on my list of values. My realisation today has been that I am not always honest with myself. Along with that insincerity comes a diminished self worth. Confidence on the other hand comes with knowing who you are and accepting your imperfections.
Physically I could be taking more care of my body. Why I have chosen at some level to repress or deny issues regarding my health before now I’m not yet sure. Maybe because I believe that you get what you focus on and therefore avoid the issue.
I remember reading an article where a young girl became pregnant at just 13 and literally ignored the pregnancy until she could not hide it anymore. I recall feeling sad that she didn’t feel able to confide in anyone else but also I understood her fear.
So back to my health – perhaps I have been foolish to take it for granted up until now. Being healthy, feeling healthy is important to me – time to reprioritise my values maybe!
Monday, 24 May 2010
Are You Over Complicating Things?
In case you missed my blog last Monday, I wrote about my self imposed 30 day challenge that i'm under taking, just for a bit of fun! Today we reach day 8.
What I wasn’t expecting was the huge amount of personal learning that this has thrown up, simply by focusing on one small aspect of my reactions to the statement ‘I’m not taking No for an answer’. Feel free to read through the earlier posts and see if anything resonates with you. I’d love to have you join me on this challenge.
This morning as I was walking my dog Boddington, along the seafront my thoughts turned to a presentation I need to make in a couple of weeks. The words fail to plan, plan to fail were swimming in my mind as I pondered over what subject to present on.
Interestingly, I caught myself thinking ‘I must make a good impression’. Why? Well of course I want to do well, but surely thoughts like this lead to putting a significant amount of unnecessary pressure on myself.
I continued on my walk and mulled this over some more and came to the conclusion that not only am I being harsh I’m also over complicating things.
Why do we do that? We can so easily over think the simplest of tasks, making them more complicated and more stressful than they need to be.
A couple of weeks ago my husband sat down with my six year old daughter to play a ‘maths’ game she had brought home from school. He set it up with her help and proceeded to read the instructions – but he just couldn’t get it. He’d fallen into the trap of expecting it to be harder than it actually was.
And here was I do exactly the same. I expect there are times when you do to. The anecdote is to KISS. Keep it Simple, Stupid.
Aha, I think I've found the topic for my presentation!
What I wasn’t expecting was the huge amount of personal learning that this has thrown up, simply by focusing on one small aspect of my reactions to the statement ‘I’m not taking No for an answer’. Feel free to read through the earlier posts and see if anything resonates with you. I’d love to have you join me on this challenge.
This morning as I was walking my dog Boddington, along the seafront my thoughts turned to a presentation I need to make in a couple of weeks. The words fail to plan, plan to fail were swimming in my mind as I pondered over what subject to present on.
Interestingly, I caught myself thinking ‘I must make a good impression’. Why? Well of course I want to do well, but surely thoughts like this lead to putting a significant amount of unnecessary pressure on myself.
I continued on my walk and mulled this over some more and came to the conclusion that not only am I being harsh I’m also over complicating things.
Why do we do that? We can so easily over think the simplest of tasks, making them more complicated and more stressful than they need to be.
A couple of weeks ago my husband sat down with my six year old daughter to play a ‘maths’ game she had brought home from school. He set it up with her help and proceeded to read the instructions – but he just couldn’t get it. He’d fallen into the trap of expecting it to be harder than it actually was.
And here was I do exactly the same. I expect there are times when you do to. The anecdote is to KISS. Keep it Simple, Stupid.
Aha, I think I've found the topic for my presentation!
Sunday, 23 May 2010
Are you valuing yourself highly?
Day 6/7 I'm Not Taking No for An Answer
The other day my mentor made a passing comment whist discussing our value in the market place, what we charge, our hourly or daily rates and how that equates to the value we place on ourselves.
Then last evening whilst flicking through a book on wealth creation I stumbled across a tool I’m very familiar with, a simple but highly effective tool that many of my coaching colleagues use to help people find balance in their lives, the Wheel of Life.
This got me thinking about what areas of my life I perhaps don’t place enough value on myself and I started to question why I’m not fully living my values in those areas. After all if I don’t value myself how can I expect anyone else to?
You see the level of think you currently have has got you to where you are today. I’ve done a lot of personal development over the years and I’m doing well, I’m very happy in my life but like everyone else I still have habitual thinking patterns that can hold me back. They are patterns that run unconsciously in our minds. So to grow, or make changes, you need to regularly evaluate where you are and challenge your current level of thinking. It’s one of the contributing factors to being successful.
I know what areas I need to work on, how about you? Where could you be making improvements, what thoughts do you have that are holding you back? What’s that internal voice saying to you?
By the way, if you want to get paid more, you have to work harder – on yourself.
The other day my mentor made a passing comment whist discussing our value in the market place, what we charge, our hourly or daily rates and how that equates to the value we place on ourselves.
Then last evening whilst flicking through a book on wealth creation I stumbled across a tool I’m very familiar with, a simple but highly effective tool that many of my coaching colleagues use to help people find balance in their lives, the Wheel of Life.
This got me thinking about what areas of my life I perhaps don’t place enough value on myself and I started to question why I’m not fully living my values in those areas. After all if I don’t value myself how can I expect anyone else to?
You see the level of think you currently have has got you to where you are today. I’ve done a lot of personal development over the years and I’m doing well, I’m very happy in my life but like everyone else I still have habitual thinking patterns that can hold me back. They are patterns that run unconsciously in our minds. So to grow, or make changes, you need to regularly evaluate where you are and challenge your current level of thinking. It’s one of the contributing factors to being successful.
I know what areas I need to work on, how about you? Where could you be making improvements, what thoughts do you have that are holding you back? What’s that internal voice saying to you?
By the way, if you want to get paid more, you have to work harder – on yourself.
Friday, 21 May 2010
There Has To Be Another Way
It’s only natural in the early days of setting up and running your own business that you may feel that there is far too much to do and not enough time to do it all.
Four years on and I still find the demands on my time and energy to be overwhelming at times despite a fair amount of outsourcing that goes to my wonderful VA, Tracy.
But there are only 24 hours in a day and there is only one of me!
Something I accepted about myself today was that I actually put a lot of pressure upon myself unnecessarily. I have a tendency to try and do too much and please everyone bar myself.
So enough is enough, it’s time to up the ante and rise to a higher level. ‘There has to be another way’ as Jason Vale ‘The Juice Master’ would say.
After all top earners outsource just about everything they possibly can in order to focus 100% on the things that they excel at.
If you aren’t familiar with the 80/20 rule or The Pareto’s Principle as its otherwise known then it’s a general rule that states 20% of your effort will produce 80% of your results.
Therefore I’ve been mulling over which of the daily business tasks and activities will either generate the most revenue or tasks that only I can do – the 20%. The rest can be eliminated, outsourced or automated.
If it works for Warren Buffett, the richest man in the world then I’m not opposed to taking a leaf out of his book.
Four years on and I still find the demands on my time and energy to be overwhelming at times despite a fair amount of outsourcing that goes to my wonderful VA, Tracy.
But there are only 24 hours in a day and there is only one of me!
Something I accepted about myself today was that I actually put a lot of pressure upon myself unnecessarily. I have a tendency to try and do too much and please everyone bar myself.
So enough is enough, it’s time to up the ante and rise to a higher level. ‘There has to be another way’ as Jason Vale ‘The Juice Master’ would say.
After all top earners outsource just about everything they possibly can in order to focus 100% on the things that they excel at.
If you aren’t familiar with the 80/20 rule or The Pareto’s Principle as its otherwise known then it’s a general rule that states 20% of your effort will produce 80% of your results.
Therefore I’ve been mulling over which of the daily business tasks and activities will either generate the most revenue or tasks that only I can do – the 20%. The rest can be eliminated, outsourced or automated.
If it works for Warren Buffett, the richest man in the world then I’m not opposed to taking a leaf out of his book.
Thursday, 20 May 2010
How Often Do You Upset The Apple Cart?
Day 4 Not Taking No For An Answer Challenge
Have you ever attended a meeting with the full intention of sharing your views only to leave an hour or so later, kicking yourself for not speaking up?
Mmm, I can recall many a meeting in my previous career where I felt my opinions would be of little interest or of value. I would choose to remain quiet or neutral in debates for fear of upsetting the apple cart because of my desire to be liked.
A desire we all have, we all want others to think highly of us. We all want to feel important. I laugh when I look back now, but there are still occasions when I could easily slip back into those old behaviours.
Take today for example, a meeting with the other Hampshire Winning Women Business Award judges to finalise the arrangements for the award ceremony on June 24th. We’re a great team (of course,I handpicked them) and even when there was a difference of opinion I stuck by my guns. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t being stubborn or selfish,
I listened carefully, view the situation from all points of view and we reached a flexible compromise based on what was fair and acceptable to us all. We have a positive way forward and no one thinks any the less of me.
What I’ve learned along the way is that we are liked because others appreciate what we bring to their lives, what we do, how we act and if we allow fear to get in the way and fail to speak up and voice our opinions then we will never let anyone see who we really are. And if they cannot see us as our true selves then they will never get to know us or like us.
By the way, the buffet for the ceremony sounds delicious, the awards look fabulous and we now have some super sponsors. Nominations are open until June 3rd make your nomination here
Have you ever attended a meeting with the full intention of sharing your views only to leave an hour or so later, kicking yourself for not speaking up?
Mmm, I can recall many a meeting in my previous career where I felt my opinions would be of little interest or of value. I would choose to remain quiet or neutral in debates for fear of upsetting the apple cart because of my desire to be liked.
A desire we all have, we all want others to think highly of us. We all want to feel important. I laugh when I look back now, but there are still occasions when I could easily slip back into those old behaviours.
Take today for example, a meeting with the other Hampshire Winning Women Business Award judges to finalise the arrangements for the award ceremony on June 24th. We’re a great team (of course,I handpicked them) and even when there was a difference of opinion I stuck by my guns. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t being stubborn or selfish,
I listened carefully, view the situation from all points of view and we reached a flexible compromise based on what was fair and acceptable to us all. We have a positive way forward and no one thinks any the less of me.
What I’ve learned along the way is that we are liked because others appreciate what we bring to their lives, what we do, how we act and if we allow fear to get in the way and fail to speak up and voice our opinions then we will never let anyone see who we really are. And if they cannot see us as our true selves then they will never get to know us or like us.
By the way, the buffet for the ceremony sounds delicious, the awards look fabulous and we now have some super sponsors. Nominations are open until June 3rd make your nomination here
Wednesday, 19 May 2010
What Do You Have To Lose? - Facing Your Fears.
Surrounding yourself with positive people and connecting with other likeminded women is vital for the survival of your business.
I don’t know about you but have you ever found spending time with so called ‘friends’ leaves you drained of energy and feeling lethargic? I know I have.
Nowadays those ‘friends’ receive less and less of my time. I’m far busier of course, but alongside that busyness a conscious decision was made to move away from these ‘friends’ and spend more time with people who inspire me, energise me, make me laugh , people who are dynamic, vibrant and just great company.
Just this morning as I walked the dog along the seafront I met one such wonderful woman. Let’s call her Chris, after all that’s her name. We’d only chatted for a short time but I already knew we are going to be great friends and I’m looking forward to meeting up with her again.
Another such person is Shuri, one of my coaches who’s working with me on developing my presentation skills. I have a deep rooted fear of public speaking but I also know that when I overcome this my life and business will be far greater. Even though I was challenged today to step out of my comfort zone and it felt uncomfortable at times I have immense determination to face this head on. This is one area of my life where I’m not taking ‘no’ for an answer.
As Les Brown says,“When you face your fear, most of the time you will discover that it was not really such a big threat after all. We all need some form of deeply rooted, powerful motivation / it empowers us to overcome obstacles so we can live our dreams.”
What are you resolving to face up to today?
As a final note, the childcare problem is resolved and I’ve even found a wonderful person to walk the dog – Warwick here I come. Although I haven’t relished the idea of asking for support I have been pleasantly surprised by the willingness of others to help. Saying that I’m not keen to make a habit of it!
How grateful I am to have so many wonderful people in my life.
I don’t know about you but have you ever found spending time with so called ‘friends’ leaves you drained of energy and feeling lethargic? I know I have.
Nowadays those ‘friends’ receive less and less of my time. I’m far busier of course, but alongside that busyness a conscious decision was made to move away from these ‘friends’ and spend more time with people who inspire me, energise me, make me laugh , people who are dynamic, vibrant and just great company.
Just this morning as I walked the dog along the seafront I met one such wonderful woman. Let’s call her Chris, after all that’s her name. We’d only chatted for a short time but I already knew we are going to be great friends and I’m looking forward to meeting up with her again.
Another such person is Shuri, one of my coaches who’s working with me on developing my presentation skills. I have a deep rooted fear of public speaking but I also know that when I overcome this my life and business will be far greater. Even though I was challenged today to step out of my comfort zone and it felt uncomfortable at times I have immense determination to face this head on. This is one area of my life where I’m not taking ‘no’ for an answer.
As Les Brown says,“When you face your fear, most of the time you will discover that it was not really such a big threat after all. We all need some form of deeply rooted, powerful motivation / it empowers us to overcome obstacles so we can live our dreams.”
What are you resolving to face up to today?
As a final note, the childcare problem is resolved and I’ve even found a wonderful person to walk the dog – Warwick here I come. Although I haven’t relished the idea of asking for support I have been pleasantly surprised by the willingness of others to help. Saying that I’m not keen to make a habit of it!
How grateful I am to have so many wonderful people in my life.
Tuesday, 18 May 2010
Are You An Amateur Or Professional
The difference that really makes the difference between those women who run their businesses successfully and those who have intermittent success is their business mindset.
It’s their attitude or approach to running their business that is significantly different. Let me explain.
It must be about four years ago when my then mentor described the difference between those who ‘play at having a business’ and those who go out there and really make it happen. It was the bit about those who ‘play’ at business that struck a chord. Ouch I resonated with that!
I wasn’t taking things as seriously as I could have. I was terribly naïve and had foolishly hoped that by coaching a few friends, they would refer me and the business would take off, I’d do a little bit of advertising (in all the wrong places I might add) and that would be sufficient. So when my mentor talked about investing time, effort and money right from the start I knew I had to go back to basics, review my plans, rewrite my goals and start afresh like a ‘professional’ rather than the amateur I had been.
In this context I'm referring to an amateur as someone who probably wakes up in the morning and thinks ‘Oh I’m not feeling particularly motivated, it’s a warm sunny day. I don’t think I’ll make those follow up calls today, I’ll do them tomorrow instead.’
A professional on the other hand will do the things they need to do whether they feel like it or not. A professional will adopt an attitude that says ‘I’m going to do one thing, one task or activity every single day to grow my business.’
Bear in mind that if that is the case, then over the course of one year, 365 days, just imagine what a difference one small tiny step would impact on your business development.
If your mindset isn’t right then you are only going to achieve limited success. It’s so vital to get your mindset, your attitude right.
So, why then knowing this, did I wake up this morning thinking like an amateur?
Maybe because the childcare issue from yesterday was still not resolved and I’d subconsciously attached those feelings to the day ahead? Possibly, here’s the thing, having a heightened awareness of my thoughts I was quickly able to change them. As soon as I noticed this thought pattern I turned my focus towards all the exciting things that were planned to happen today and happen they did.
Firstly, two friends are happy to look after the girls for me on Friday afternoon. Asking wasn’t as difficult as I’d imagined, it was all in my mind. Secondly, today was one of my monthly optional ‘call in days’ for my VIP and Make it Happen clients to pick up the phone and ask questions, sound out ideas, have laser coaching etc. Wow, 12 calls and what wonderful achievements and breakthroughs taking place. Well done to all of you, you certainly aren’t taking ‘No’ for an answer.
It’s their attitude or approach to running their business that is significantly different. Let me explain.
It must be about four years ago when my then mentor described the difference between those who ‘play at having a business’ and those who go out there and really make it happen. It was the bit about those who ‘play’ at business that struck a chord. Ouch I resonated with that!
I wasn’t taking things as seriously as I could have. I was terribly naïve and had foolishly hoped that by coaching a few friends, they would refer me and the business would take off, I’d do a little bit of advertising (in all the wrong places I might add) and that would be sufficient. So when my mentor talked about investing time, effort and money right from the start I knew I had to go back to basics, review my plans, rewrite my goals and start afresh like a ‘professional’ rather than the amateur I had been.
In this context I'm referring to an amateur as someone who probably wakes up in the morning and thinks ‘Oh I’m not feeling particularly motivated, it’s a warm sunny day. I don’t think I’ll make those follow up calls today, I’ll do them tomorrow instead.’
A professional on the other hand will do the things they need to do whether they feel like it or not. A professional will adopt an attitude that says ‘I’m going to do one thing, one task or activity every single day to grow my business.’
Bear in mind that if that is the case, then over the course of one year, 365 days, just imagine what a difference one small tiny step would impact on your business development.
If your mindset isn’t right then you are only going to achieve limited success. It’s so vital to get your mindset, your attitude right.
So, why then knowing this, did I wake up this morning thinking like an amateur?
Maybe because the childcare issue from yesterday was still not resolved and I’d subconsciously attached those feelings to the day ahead? Possibly, here’s the thing, having a heightened awareness of my thoughts I was quickly able to change them. As soon as I noticed this thought pattern I turned my focus towards all the exciting things that were planned to happen today and happen they did.
Firstly, two friends are happy to look after the girls for me on Friday afternoon. Asking wasn’t as difficult as I’d imagined, it was all in my mind. Secondly, today was one of my monthly optional ‘call in days’ for my VIP and Make it Happen clients to pick up the phone and ask questions, sound out ideas, have laser coaching etc. Wow, 12 calls and what wonderful achievements and breakthroughs taking place. Well done to all of you, you certainly aren’t taking ‘No’ for an answer.
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